OK ladies, let’s talk….
Gentlemen, I know you’re curiosity is going to compel you to read on and that’s fine. Will you do me a favor and share with a woman that you love (mother, sister, spouse)? Thanks!
Ladies, our presence in the workforce has increased from one generation to the next. In the United States, women now make up about half the total workforce and has seen a sharp rise in income as well. There are more women in managerial positions, and more women-owned businesses than ever before. The number of female millionaires is on the rise, and as of a 1995 report, 55% of women were bringing home half or more of the household income, shifting the traditional role of “bread winner”.
Countless women are graduating top of their class, holding positions or power within government, and working upper managerial positions. We have shown we have the intelligence, charisma, leadership and know how to lead along with our male counterparts.
So then why do a staggering 90% of women feel insecure when it comes to their own finances?!
These are the same women that are bringing home more income. They dress the part, talk the talk and walk the walk, but on the inside, there is this intimidation caused by money.
There’s a particular woman that was classified as gifted from a child. While in kindergarten, she was on a 2nd grade reading level. She scored a 140 on her IQ test and went to the college preparatory school for the gifted and talented that at one point was ranked 4th in the nation. She went on to a predominately male engineering university to continue studying her love for computers. Like many of her undergraduate counterparts, she graduated with her share of debt. Minimum and missed payments were the lifestyle. She had a good job, and no matter how behind she got, another paycheck was always a couple weeks away.
This dangerous cycle continued for a few years until one day she woke up and decided to make some major changes. Her IQ and education did not factor into basic personal finance principals. Yet she meticulously handled major projects and programs in the workforce. Even when she tried to do the right thing by going to a financial advisor, her lack of understanding and fear of looking incompetent caused her to remain silent. She wasn’t looking to manage her money, she was looking for a financial baby-sitter. In case you haven’t figured it out by now, that woman was me.
I’ve seen this story all to often! Women with a commanding presence in a conference room, responsible for leading large teams, successfully overseeing multi-million dollar projects and yet refuse to take control of their own finances.
This anomaly doesn’t just effect women in corporate America. The same insecurities are voiced from those who choose to work part-time or stay at home.
Suze Orman asked the question in Women & Money: Why is it women who are competent in all other areas of their lives cannot find the same competence when it comes to matters of money?
In fact, her book Women & Money is largely based on this question. It is a book I plan to provide a review on in the near future. But for now, let’s reflect on the question above.
Competence in Money Matters
I believe it comes down to at least two issues:
- Fear / Lack of Confidence
- Conflicting nurturer and money matters
Fear / Lack of Confidence
Fear can be an immobilizing force! Fear of failure and even fear of success will prevent women from moving. Fear of failure is obvious, but fear of success may need a little more explaining. Because of the defined roles placed by our society, some may choose to stay within a safe zone rather than push the limit. For a very long time and still to some extent today, there was a negative stigma that followed successful women in the workforce. Their placement was often questioned and met with hostile accusations of favoritism and quotas. This same fear of success cause children to intentionally receive average and sub-par grades to be accepted by a group of their peers. Normal is comfortable, and many choose to stay there even if it means living below their potential.
Conflicting Nurturer & Money Matters
Jay MacDonald from Bankrate.com summed it up nicely with this observation:
Women: trained to nurture and seek acceptance, view money as a means to create a lifestyle. Women spend on things that enhance day-to-day living. Theirs is a now-money orientation.
Men: trained to fix and provide, view money as a means to capture and accumulate value. Men don’t spend, they invest. Men don’t want something, they need it. Theirs is a future-money orientation.
I agree with this in part, but I know too many men that spend on lifestyle enhancement to accept this as 100% fact. For what it’s worth, here is my conclusion on the matter:
Women being nurturers have a natural ability to care for what they love. This is most obvious in the care of a mother for a child. However, we don’t love money, and from a Christian perspective, we should not love money: For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. – 1 Timothy 6:10
Because of this, many have consciously (or unconsciously) shunned any type of money relationship as a topic that is taboo and better left undiscussed. However, this is unhealthy as well. Biblically, we should not love money, however, we are not commanded to ignore it. In fact, effective stewardship means it requires our attention. We need to change our views from money being avoided because it is something we don’t love, to a tool that can be effectively managed to help us take care of the ones we love.
What about you? Have you noticed an difference in the way men and women handle finances?
Lakita, I think you made an interesting point in your closing thoughts. I agree that money should be used as a tool to help people take better care of their loved ones. And even beyond that, it should be used for God’s purposes in our lives. This is a great perspective you leave women with who as you pointed out have natural nurturing characteristics that us males do need. I’m thankful my wife is a part of our family money management team!
Lakita, I agree with Jay MacDonald to some extent. I believe alot of women are “now money oriented” because they have to be. However, we do know how to invest in the future. There are alot of women playing the role of head of household and therefore are forced to provide the day to day things needed for the family to survive. I’m speaking about the single mothers who not only want to, but are required to take care of their families. I personally don’t fear finances, but actually embrace every opportunity that I have to invest in the future. I believe it’s important that we be good stewards over what God has given us, not only with our money, but with everything we have so that He will give us increase. I totally agree that women are natural nuturers.
Excellent points Venita!
Thanks Jason! I think there is a delicate balance necessary to manage finances effectively
.-= Lakita (PFJourney)´s last blog ..Buyer Beware of Free Credit Score Offers =-.
Thanks for this article Lakita. My story is very similar to yours! I was head of the household, and accomplished, yet I never really looked into my finances.
I think since we do nurture by nature, our number one priority is the happiness of our family. Our society today is so consumer driven the easiest way to show someone you love them is to buy something, or do something for them.
It becomes the normal way to care for our loved ones and ourselves. So when it comes to finances, it isn’t just limiting the money, it’s limiting the love for our family, and ourselves.
It’s funny how complicated money is. It is just a ‘tool’ but we put so many beliefs into it!
.-= Jaime @ Eventual Millionaire´s last blog ..How Do Young, Inexperienced, Poor Entrepreneurs Make a Million? =-.
Excellent insight Jaime! You’re right, society has made money so complicated.
I agree that it’s the norm for females to not be quite as money savvy, but I’ve found a wonderful blogging community of women who care about their finances like I do. Love it!
.-= me in millions´s last blog ..Monday Morning Inspiration: Fabulously Broke in the City =-.
Great article. I agree you that the lack of knowledge about personal finances plays a major role on women’s fear about money. Another thing that plays into is that society has created a culture where we (women) look to a man to take care of the finances. I do believe that we are moving away from this concept slowly but surely.