A pre-nuptial agreement (prenup) is a contract that is written before marriage detailing the division of property and other provisions in the event of a divorce. This would be similar to a business or pre-employment contract with clauses that deal with dissolution or termination. Both outline the specifics in the event the parties involve separate.
We see agreements throughout the Bible in the form of covenants, treaties, and decrees. One such decree was signed by King Darius which led to the events commonly referred to as Daniel and the Lions Den:
All the governors of the kingdom, the administrators and satraps, the counselors and advisors, have consulted together to establish a royal statute and to make a firm decree, that whoever petitions any god or man for thirty days, except you, O king, shall be cast into the den of lions. Now, O king, establish the decree and sign the writing, so that it cannot be changed, according to the law of the Medes and Persians, which does not alter.” Daniel 6:7-8
The Bible also says with all thy getting get understanding, so the act of drafting and signing ordinary contracts is supported. However, the pre-nuptial agreement is a different animal. A prenup, by design, is a contract enforced if the preceding covenant is broken. This proceeding covenant being that of marriage which is made before God.
Contract vs covenant
On the surface, contracts and covenants may seem the same. Sometimes the words are used interchangeably. However, closer inspection reveals that while both involve at least two parties entering into some sort of agreement, the covenant involves God.
The sacred vows are usually something like for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. A prenup does not compliment this model. It places conditions on what was meant to be unconditional.
Common reasons for getting a prenup include:
- A huge difference in wealth between partners
- One earns more than the other
- One partner has high debt
The problem is these all place emphasis on material things. While logically it may make sense to want to protect your assets, the Christian marriage should strive to be an example of Christ’s love for us.
Have you not read that at the beginning the Creator “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Matthew 19:4-6)
When two become one, it is no longer “my assets” and “your assets” but “our assets”.
Statistically, the divorce rate is around 50%. This increases in cases of re-marriage or blended families. It is no wonder there is often a desire to protect your assets before marriage. However doing so shifts trust away from God and into your own hands.
God’s design for marriage is 100% unity and commitment. If there is any insecurity, it’s time for a heart check:
- Is it is lack of trust in God or my partner?
- I’m I still hurting from a bitter breakup and I don’t want to go through that again?
- I’m I overprotective of material possessions?
Dave Ramsey used to be 100% against prenups, however he notes there are rare instances when they are necessary. He says:
If you don’t have over $3 million, you don’t need a prenup. If you’re worried about who gets the china cabinet, then give them the china cabinet…
You need to be able to combine your life with someone that you marry. The only reason I back off the pre-nuptial agreement deal at the higher dollar amount is that they tend to attract fruit loops from within their family who appear when some money shows up.
It should be noted that no where does the Bible state that a prenup is a sin. Nor is it an indicator that two individuals do not love one another. However, it is not the best representation of God’s plan for marriage and the unity of two including their money.
What do you think? Are Prenups OK for Christians? Are they a way to protect your financial interests or a bad idea?
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