Comments on: Should Christians Have Prenups?

By: Jason Price

Jason Price — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 15:12:06 +0000

MiaC, thank you for sharing your story. I recommend for you as well as others having difficulties in their marriage to seek help from a Christian marriage counselor. Working with such a counselor will help you approach these challenges using the truth of God’s principles. They bring peace, comfort and the wisdom we all need in life.

I also recommend Focus on the Family. You can visit their website at http://www.focusonthefamily.org.

Also, since this post has been open for a while, I’m going to close comments. I think we have discussed the original intent of the post which is whether or not a Christian should have a prenuptual agreement. I’d rather the comments section not be a place to work through marital challenges. While, I am compassionate about such challenges and want to help, I think it’s much better to seek guidance from a Christian marriage counselor who can provide expertise and wisdom in this area.

By: MiaC

MiaC — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 05:23:36 +0000

Also, after by husband learned of my affairs- he is still here. He has apologized immensely for the way he treated me. He repeatedly tells me that if he were going to exercise the prenup, he would have done it already when he learned of my affairs (2 weeks ago) he still holds strong to keeping the prenup in place.
I’m don’t know what to think.

By: MiaC

MiaC — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 04:44:54 +0000

I was 21 years old when I signed one due to an ultimatum. If I didn’t sign, he would call off the wedding. I signed it two weeks prior to marriage. The attorney that translated this prenuptial agreement to me told me that it was an ‘iron clad’ prenuptial agreement and he had never seen on so strong and so…. Limiting. He warned me that if I quit school, I’d be foolish. My husband is 7 years older than me and is a wealthy individual. He owned two homes, multiple sports cars and over a million dollars to his name- which is what he is ultimately protecting. His reason to me for the prenuptial agreement is for liability reasons. He explained to me that if he were sued through his business, houses and cash could not me touched if he put those things in my name. What I’ve realized is that NOTHING is legally mine unless it is formally written and submitted to the attorney with the prenup. Over the past 3 years that I have been married, I have blown holes through all the reasons that I was given for the prenup. The truth is that the prenup want to protect us from outsiders lawsuits but to protect his assets from me. This became more apparent when he began to threaten me with divorce when he wanted things his way. Just two months after marriage, he told me that he didn’t know if he loved me. On our one year anniversary he told me that he wished he hadn’t married me. He refused to touch me unless he wanted sex after which he’d roll off me and go about his day. He cringed at every effort of affection from me. It was easy for him to flirt with every girl but me- worst of all he did it infront of me. He loved to tell his friend’s wives ad girlfriends how beautiful they were but never could tell me. He took his friends to sports games and always left me at home. His parents made phone calls to me after he had complained to him about how terrible I am for causing arguments about needing affection. They blamed me for the threats of divorce and said they supported his decision to divorce me. They were the Christians that brought me to the Lord and they are the same people that made me turn and run from Him… I was shattered.
I came from a broken home and There was not a single person that I could count on .. I thought God gave me my husband and that i could count on him….
I turned away from God because I was emotionally beat down. I had two affairs. One physical and one emotional. I feel terrible and I regret that I fell victim to lies. The way my husband treated me didnt MAKE me cheat but it definitely cut me down to size… And i fell.
I can’t help but think that the prenup had alot to do with the way our marriage turned out. I can’t help but wonder if the divorce threats happened because of the prenup…

By: Llaima Castro

Llaima Castro — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 21:56:57 +0000

I think the if you start considering setting up a pre-nuptial agreement that’s the moment you should re-consider getting Married.

By: money and sol

money and sol — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 01:26:34 +0000

I’m so sorry for LD but I won’t voice out my opinion on her situation. Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic that’s why I believe in the sugar-coated idea of marriage. When I made my vows I took it sincerely. I firmly believe that I would stick by this marriage for whatever it takes. I’m from a broken family too that’s why I want to work things out for the benefit of my kid. I don’t want them to ask himself of possibilities of a better life if my husband and I are still together. If I sign for a pre-nup I will have a very good reason not to work out things because I can run away with my money whole anyway. Well I guess my choosing of a suitable partner made a great advantage too.

By: Carol@inthetrenches

Carol@inthetrenches — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:08:27 +0000

Without going into many personal details I would definately say yes to a prenup. In my earlier years I was idealistic to believe that both parties would want to do what is right and to choose serving God as their number 1 priority. Not true. It is true that it takes two people to make a marriage work but it only takes one to end it. Prenup in no way contradict any of the Bible vows but are for legal protection for a secular world that allows adultery, alcholism, and drug abuse and calls it “no-fault”. Especially when there are children from a prior marriage their assets need to be protected. If a person is highly opposed to a reasonable prenup it is a good time to question their motives. The behaviors of the person that you may end up divorsing are not necessarily the same behaviors that caused you to desire to marry them in the first place.
Carol@inthetrenches recently posted..Living on One Income- How to Make it Work

By: Lakita | Personal Finance Journey

Lakita | Personal Finance Journey — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 17:45:22 +0000

FYI to all: I’ve emailed LD and we’ve been discussing this situation through email. Some information LD would rather not publicize.

By: LD

LD — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 15:36:24 +0000

Oh, and yes, to answer your question..he has a business that he wants to ‘protect’ and had to fight hard to keep during his divorce and doesn’t want to go through that again. He says his business is his identity and he doesn’t want to share that with anyone.

By: LD

LD — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 15:33:27 +0000

Hi, I want to thank all of you for your input. Here is where I am struggling the most. To answer your questions about him being a Christian – no, he now does not profess to be however, he did for a while when I made it know it was important to me and he was going to church with me. Around the time of dropping the bomb on the prenup the final time he also said he no longer wanted to go to church. He’s very type A and does not want to ‘submit’ to anyone – even God. Now, I must add…I had backslidden in my walk due to my ex-husband who was a Christian and left me. I was so devastated and turned my back on God (so wrong for me to do). When I met this new man, I slept with him and he said we’d be married that weekend – which turned out to be false, of course. I knew I was walking the fence. I didn’t feel right and the more our relationship progressed, the more I found my way back to God and his ways because I cannot deny the truth in God’s word. But here is where I am torn – because I slept with this man, aren’t I already married to him in God’s eyes? This is what makes me want to sign this prenup if I can find a wording I am comfortable with. No, he is not a full believer right now but aren’t I already married to him? I tell you, being apart from him feels just like divorce!! Even though we have not had a ‘legal’ ceremony, doesn’t God consider us married and therefore should I not submit to his wishes for a prenup as my husband before God? It makes me cringe to think of starting over with someone new and sharing that sacred bond with another person. He was to be my last. I know I must sound so confused and that is because I am. I TRULY want to do what GOD wants me to do and I am not sure what that is? Is this man already my husband in God’s eyes because he has “known” me in the biblical sense? I APPRECIATE SOOO much everyone’s help. If so, then I will submit to him and sign it and do whatever it takes to keep my committment. Thank you again for helping me! It’s so hard to find a Christian counselor where I live.

By: David

David — Thu, 20 May 2010 23:40:07 +0000

While there are more working wives out there, it’s still small compared to the majority of women that earn far less.

I wanted to clarify that it’s more of a burden on a male if the wife doesn’t work, brings in debts, children, and eventually divorced on top of all of that. Women too who have wealth are strongly encouraged to have the groom sign a prenup to protect herself and her investments.

It’s at the point when a step-dad is forced to pay child support in some states and Canada, even if the ex wife still gets CS from the biological father. A Step parent asking for a prenup already sounds absurd, but here we are today.

What it boils down to is a severe lack of trust thanks to the scenarios that play out. As humans we learn by example. Trust is something earned and maintained, and when you experience trust being broken it gets harder and harder to regain trust in anyone. Lack of trust brings out fear, and fear is something that can harm relationships.