Food Stamps

The most recognized government program is food stamps. Food stamps are government funds that those who are under the poverty line can use to help pay for basic food staples. People who receive food stamps will have funds electronically delivered to their accounts each month at the first of the month.

This program is open to almost every type of family, so even if you are a grandparent on a fixed income raising a child, you can qualify for the program. It also helps those who are serving groups of adults with disabilities or other developmental issues. Keep in mind that to qualify for food stamps, you must live in the United States or be a qualifying resident alien of the United States.

WIC

If you have kids or are helping to raise kids you can qualify for the WIC program. WIC stands for Women, Infants and Children and is designed to help offset the cost of food for children under the age of five. In order to stay in the WIC program, parents must meet regularly with program officials who will monitor the needs of both parent and child.

WIC funds are dispersed through checks that the parents or a proxy cash whenever they go shopping. The list of foods that the checks cover is specifically written on each check, and nothing else can be purchased using the check.

HUD Rental Assistance

You can get help with housing through HUD’s Rental Assistance program. Options include privately owned subsidized housing, public housing and housing choice voucher program (also known as Section 8). You can get help finding cheap apartments and other assistance programs by visiting the HUD website.

Oil Heat Program

The federal government is working with Citizens Energy to provide heating fuel for those who cannot afford it. Several states are involved in the program. To find out if your state is involved, you can go to CitizensEnergy.com. It is a great resource for those who don’t have the money to adequately heat their homes. No family should have to decide between food and paying for heat.

Struggling families have programs to turn to if they need assistance. Food and help with providing food for their children is within reach. While some people might be too proud to ask for assistance, pride should not stand in the way of obtaining their next meal. The economy is poor, and it isn’t always possible to have enough money in the bank to cover necessities. Fortunately, there are options open to you if you choose to accept them.

Even though the nerd is doing all of these things, there is still another money manager in the family.  It’s the nerd’s spouse.  Now the spouse might not be as involved in day to day management.  In many cases the spouse doesn’t have knowledge of how much money is in the bank account.  Perhaps the spouse just knows how much he or she can spend on entertainment or clothes for the month and maybe a few other budget categories.

But, this is a dangerous approach to family finances.  What if something happened to the family CFO?  Would the spouse know how to step in and manage everything?  And we are all considered financial stewards in God’s eyes.  So, both spouses are responsible for managing resources that have been entrusted to their care by God.  If one spouse isn’t involved, how can he or she be managing God’s resources wisely?

The answer lies in a few ideas to get the cool person, not the nerd or family CFO, involved in the family finances.  The spouse doesn’t have to necessarily be involved in the day to day finances at the level of detail as the nerd, but should have knowledge of the resources and how they’re being used.  So, if you are the nerd, consider these tips to get your spouse more involved in the management of family finances.  He or she will appreciate it if done for the solid reasons I just mentioned.

1. Budget together every month

One of the most important things spouses can do together is budget their money together each month.  Even though you have fixed spending in place, there are still planning decisions to be made each month for discretionary spending.

2. Provide a weekly status report

While the monthly meeting is important, so is a weekly meeting about money.  All this requires is a review of spending for the major budget categories and a discussion around any new significant expenses required for the month.  I like to think of it as a status meeting.  If you want to take it to the next step, you can write down the balances of the major budget categories for your spouse so he or she knows the overall state of the spending plan.

3. Let your spouse tithe

One spouse may often pay the bills, tithe online, or even write out a check for tithing.  Let the other spouse do this important task.  Then, either give together online or take your check to church.  I can’t stress enough the important of both spouses being involved in prayerful giving each month.

4. Let your spouse pay some of the bills

So along the same lines as above, perhaps your spouse can pay some of the monthly bills.  Don’t overload the person who doesn’t normally do this work for the family, but giving them a few key bills to manage is a great way to involve the person and for them to fulfill being a good financial steward.

5. Take turns budgeting

Along with paying bills, this is another great way.  Let your spouse perform the management of an entire budget area.  For example, my wife is in charge of clothing for the children, she often buys the gifts for birthday parties and for other miscellaneous needs.  She is responsible for knowing how much money has been allocated to those areas and for managing within those sub budgets or categories.

6. Provide visibility to your personal finance software

Turn over a copy of the keys to full viewing and access to the personal finance software.  The spouse should be able to log into the account, find the budget and review spending against the budget categories.  Looking a checking account balance is not nearly as helpful or as important as being able to know the budget balance by category.

7. Seek your spouse’s input

Finally, a great way to involve your spouse is to ask them questions and seek their input about financial decisions.  You’re in dangerous territory if you’re managing the money on an island by yourself without financial counsel or advice from your spouse.  If you’re a male, don’t make this mistake.  Women have a great sense of intuition and often gifted with discernment.  These are important qualities and characteristics you need on your family money management team.

What ideas do you have to involve your spouse in the management of family finances?

I previously published this post at ChristianPF.com.

This week I’m wrapping up the series with common Biblical principles about money and family.  Have you ever given thought to how important the subject family is when it comes to managing money?  Some aspect of family is a part of most of our financial conversations.  We often talk with our spouse about spending or budgeting.  Parents are concerned with their children’s well being and future.  And if you’re an adult son or daughter, you may talk about the future care for your elderly parents.

Larry Burkett says “we should serve our families and help them grow in their relationship with Christ.”

To me, that’s an interesting statement because I assume most people don’t think of managing money wisely as a way to serve family members and help them in their walk with Christ.  But if you think about it, managing money wisely helps us to become more intimate in our relationship with Christ.  If we are closer in our relationship we are better able to help our family members do the same.

Become one in marriage and your finances

Becoming one in marriage as it relates to managing money is laying a solid foundation that will enable couples to provide properly for their children as well as someday take care of elderly family members.  But couples often let money become a source of friction in marriages and never really become one in this area before being faced with challenging decisions related to children and family.

Why is money such a major cause of friction in families?  According to Ron Blue and Jeremy White, trust around the subject of money may be at the root of the problem.

Money is one of the major causes of friction in a marriage, and it’s no wonder. Living in a world in which we are constantly worried about taking care of ourselves, it’s easy to forget that marriage is a commitment to forge a new life with another person. The lack of trust emerging from society has created prenuptial agreements and separate bank accounts. These undermine the commitment to a shared life with a spouse and are contrary to biblical teachings.

It’s unfortunate that many times today we see two people try to manage money separately in the family.  Each person makes their own decisions in regards to spending, saving and giving.  Also having two individual bank accounts further separates couples and the responsibly of financial stewardship in the family.

The Bible tells us that we are to become one in marriage.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

I think this Biblical guidance includes the management of money.

Couples can become one in managing money by following these two practical ideas

1.  If couples are participating in the management of a joint checking account they are forced to communicate about money and how it should be managed.  It often stimulates the need to have a household budget so that one couple isn’t overrunning spending in a particular area.

2.  Oneness also includes first seeking counsel about money decisions from our spouse.  Often time husband or wife goes outside of the relationship to talk about money with their parents.  But this typically is another source of friction in the relationship.  Rather, seek the counsel of God and each other first.  If as a couple you decide you need to receive further counsel from parents or family, go to them together as one.

Take responsibility for teaching your children about money

Scripture tells us it is the responsibility of the mother and father to teach children about money.

Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

Perhaps you can now see why it’s so important to become one in the management of money.  If there is friction in the marriage about money, this friction will impact the children.  Rather, as parents we should produce model behavior when it comes to managing money.

Beyond modeling there are other practical ways to teach children about money, but verbally communicating to them God’s principles about money when they are old enough to understand will help them also learn their role as a financial steward.

Take care of family members

The Bible also requires us to take care of our family members.  I know that may seem difficult for some, especially if family hasn’t done much to take care of themselves and prepare for the future.  But scripture still tells us we have an important responsibility here.

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8).

I often think about my family and how I can be in a good position to provide for their needs.  It may mean that I need to save more, or perhaps make sure my personal finances are in order so that I can be in a better position to help them.  The most important thing to keep in mind is that we shouldn’t be in a position to where we have to borrow to take care of family.

How do you relate to these three areas of family and money?  I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas on practical things you’re doing in each of these areas.

Each of the posts from the Bible and Money series are based on principles discussed during Money Map Coaching sessions and the Money Map Coach participants’ guide.  You can learn more about Money Map Coaching at Crown Financial Ministries.  You can also visit my Money Map Coaching page.

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Well, I came across a great episode of Dave Ramsey on the Fox Business Network the other night dedicated to this very subject, teaching kids about money.  As Dave spoke and received calls, I learned some great tips.

Most importantly, we have to be intentional about teaching kids about money.  I think with many things, if we’re not teaching, they’re going to learn elsewhere.  And that elsewhere, could be far from the values in which we as parents hope to instill in our children.

Teaching young kids about money

All children young and older need to learn 4 key lessons when it comes to money.  A child who is 4 years old can start learning these principles.  Children need to learn how to work to earn money.  Once they’ve earned money, they need to learn how to give, save and spend it wisely.

Work

The first principle a child needs to learn is work.  When you work, you earn.  A good way to teach this principle to a child is by paying them for chores around the house.

When the chore is completed pay them immediately so the child understands what he or she did to earn the money.  When you wait until the end of the week, you children can’t remember what they did to earn the money.

Increase the work as the child gets older.  You can also move to a less frequent pay schedule such as weekly.

Create a chore chart which is updated every time the assigned work gets completed to track work and its completion.  As an example, our 4 year old daughter gets to place a sticker on her chart when her toys are put away properly.  While we haven’t started letting her earn money yet, she loves getting stickers and see the reward in performing her work.

Save, give and spend

Once the money is earned, teach the child how to save, give and spend by using three separate banks or containers.  Clear containers work great because the child can see the money accumulate in each of them.  As a child gets older, you can use giving, savings and spending envelopes versus the containers.

The best way to learn about giving and tithing is from watching mom and dad.  Show them you are giving and tell them why.  They will learn to give out of love and not because it is a written rule.

When it’s time to spend, let your child withdrawal from the spending bank.  Teach them they can’t spend more than they have saved for the spending area.

Teaching teens about money

According to Dave Ramsey, teens will nag you to death for something at the store, or for $20 dollar bills!  “Every time you turn around they’re asking you for $20.”  Dave tells parents “don’t be an ATM machine for your teen!” Teens as well as younger children must be taught no means no!

Mom and dad can’t be so busy they don’t stop to put a money management process in place for their child at home.  Be a teacher and a coach for your child.  Don’t let college be the first experience a teen has in managing money!

Teenagers should get paid for their chores or work as well.  But the key difference is they have to manage the money with parental guidance and coaching.

The money should be deposited into the teen’s checking account.  They can then learn to manage money by creating budgeting envelopes for clothing, snacks, entertainment and gas (if old enough to drive).  Parents should coach the teen on how balance the account and track spending using the spending envelopes.

Never give a teenager a credit card.  Teach them to live on what they earn.  If little Johnny comes home from college with a pile of credit card debt, don’t jump to solve his problem.  Kids only get your money if they accept your coaching.  That’s an agreement you have to reach with your child.

There will be outside influences that go against your teaching, but all you can do is what you can do at home.  You can’t control everyone who comes into contact with your child, but you can teach good money management practices at home.

Recreation and activities for children

As parents of young children and teens, we’re all faced with the pressure to involve our child in a multitude of activities.  Some of these pressures come from our children and some pressures come from other families in our circles who are signing up their children for every activity available.  Dave provided some great tips in this area which are already becoming important for our family to follow.

Don’t overload your kids with too many activities.

Too many activities will burn them out and strain your budget.  Prioritize the most important activities with them.  Consider one activity per child per season to avoid overload.

Remain conscious of how much money you’re spending on activities and how they impact your monthly budget.  You don’t want to end up with 10% of your money allocated towards recreation because it’ll take money away from other critical areas of the budget.

Don’t go into debt for childrens’ activities!

Your kids need to know you have a budget or spending plan, which also means they’re on a spending plan.  If you don’t have the money it’s not the right time to sign up for the activity.

What about you?  How do you plan to teach your child about money?

Who should be resonsible for managing money

Organizations face challenges around the uncertainty of work tasks because of the lack of understanding of who should be responsible, held accountable, consulted and informed for those tasks.  Families face these same challenges, but with tasks associated with maintaining and managing the family finances.

• Who should pay the bills?
• Who is ultimately accountable if the bills don’t get paid on – time?
• When experiencing financial challenges, who should the husband and wife seek for counsel, or consult with before making a big decision?
• Who needs to be kept informed about spending, upcoming expenses or the state of the finances in general?

Squash the uncertainty around money management responsibility

To squash this uncertainty, which can lead to frustration and disorganization, organizational teams will typically use a work matrix to identify the person(s) responsible, accountable, consulted and informed.

Why couldn’t the same be used for home finance management?

I recently had a conversation with someone about applying such a tool for family finances.  “What a great idea”, I said!  Perhaps this post is enough to start the conversation for husband and wife.  Consider these questions to help bring clarity to family personal finance management.

Responsible for money management

Who is responsible for managing the family finances?

The responsibility of paying bills, managing cash flow or actual expenses against the spending plan is typically that of the family CFO (Chief Financial Officer).  There is typically one person in the relationship that is more gifted in this area than the other.  Most often the person will naturally assume the role. 

It can get confusing when more than one person tries to assume the role, so I’m a fan of having one joint checking accounts and letting one spouse maintain it.

Accountable for money management

Who should be accountable to the financial decisions of the family? 

Both spouses should be accountable for all spending decisions and management of the finances.  How is it possible to be responsible for the management of the finances if I’m not the CFO, you might ask?  You have to be informed as you’ll read below.

It’s also important to note that each spouse should hold the other spouse accountable for their decisions.  In marriage, you become one and so do the finances.  Therefore, each person is ultimately accountable to the state of the family financial picture.  I think a good step in this direction is to have a joint checking account in marriage.

If you’re a Christian and you follow Biblical financial principles, you understand that God holds you accountable to His principles.

Consulted for money management

Who should provide counsel for the family? 

You definitely have to be watch out for some financial counselors you choose, but every husband and wife should have some counselors they can seek for advice and direction when it comes to making big financial decisions.  The counselor can also provide help or even accountability for the monthly spending plan.

Seeking counsel first from God and His word should be a priority for a Christian.  Certainly husband and wife should seek each other for counsel in making decisions.  Friends, family and a financial counselor can also be good sources. 

Make sure when you do seek outside sources for counsel, you are going to those counselors together versus one spouse alone.  Remember, personal finance is a family matter and it will separate you in this area if independent counsel is sought after.  This is a common mistake when husband or wife seeks the counsel of their parents independently.

Informed of money management

Who should be informed about financial decisions? 

This is a common area of issue that needs more definition for a husband and wife to communicate well about money.  In the post, Talk about Money, I wrote about the need to have a weekly meeting to discuss financial matters.  If you’re the CFO, you should be keeping the other spouse informed of the state of affairs on a weekly basis.  Both spouses should inform one another of spending decisions and upcoming expenses that impact the overall spending plan.  

Speaking of keeping each other informed, there is no room for secrets when it comes to family personal finance.  Hiding spending, extra money, etc. is a serious issue that can impact trust in the relationship.  I’ve heard of many friends situation in which one spouse has a credit card without the other person knowing about it.  It’s not usually surfaced until the balance becomes so unmanageable that the other spouse finds out.  At that point, a lot of negative emotions about the situation can impact or break up a marriage.

Final thoughts

I think almost any family personal finance task can be run through the areas of responsible, accountable, consulted and informed to help bring more clarity to managing family finances.  And more clarity and communication is always a good thing to make sure husband and wife are walking together in the personal finance management.

What are common challenges with family finance management that needs more clarity around who should be responsible, accountable, consulted and informed?

Here are a few ideas to hit the ground running in talking with your spouse about money:

Find a good time for the family finance meeting

Find a time that can be used each week to conduct the family money meeting. My wife and I find that Sunday evenings is generally the best time to conduct this meeting because it’s the first day of the week.  Having the meeting after a long day of work can make it less productive.

Have an agenda for the family finance meeting

The general agenda of the family finance meeting can be the following:

• Family CFO (family Chief Financial Officer responsible for paying bills and organizing finances) reviews balances for the major spending categories, i.e., how much is remaining for eating out, food, gasoline, etc.
• Discuss upcoming expenses, especially if unplanned and how to manage them.
• For Christians, it is a good time to tithe.
• Discuss/review spending priorities. If there are wants, it’s a good time to discuss the order of priority to make sure you’re both on the same page when the money becomes available for them.
• For Christians, you can wrap up in prayer.  It’s a good time to pray and thank God for blessings as well as ask Him to meet future needs.

Guidelines for a successful meeting

• Find a time where both spouses can give their full attention.
• Don’t conduct the meeting if one spouse is tired or not feeling well. Find a new day in which both people can give 100% of their energy.
• Keep the meeting to 20-30 minutes. Anything over this time will make the meeting less productive and might be draining for both spouses.
• It’s okay to have short discussions throughout the week about spending decisions or budget category balances, but in general try to have a rule that money discussions take place during the weekly meeting.  This will help eliminate the need to talk about money at the dinner table or around children.
• If you’re the CFO, determine the level of detail your spouse would like to have regarding the money. Your spouse may be comfortable knowing how much money is left for a spending category and not the necessarily the details around all the transactions in the account.
• Have patience. One spouse may be more organized or better at managing money. At the end of the day, both will make mistakes, so it’s important to be patient with each other and learn from the mistakes.

I recommend to all people whom I coach to find time for the weekly money talk. When my spouse and I conduct this meeting, we experience far less anxiety related to money decisions and find the chances of over spending are reduced simply because of the communication that takes place between us.

What topics do you think should be included in the weekly money talk?  Do you have experience with other guidelines or tips for conducting a successful meeting?