Valentine’s Day and Proposals: Deepening your Love Without Debt

By in Spend

I recently read an article in USA Today about Valentine’s Day and weddings. Many men think about proposing on Valentine’s Day thanks to various commercials showing us how magical that is. These ads show us how happy our future brides will be and the couple will live happily ever after. What these commercials don’t show is this same couple ten years down the road when the realities of life (kids, bills and jobs) kick in and that special ring is not so magical anymore.

Valentines Day EngagementsThe 2008 Wedding Report shows that the average couple spends $3,215 on an engagement ring and another $2,036 on wedding bands. Add that to the $24,066 average wedding (according to www.costofwedding.com) and that adds up to over $29,000 spent on a typical wedding. This money is spent when we least need it. For most, the years you spend dating and the beginning days of being a married couple are usually some of the happiest. Most of us are so in love at this point we don’t need anything else to make us happy. You might remember those days yourself when you did not have much but love and were as happy as could be. Tracy and I actually moved to Poland a few months after getting married. We had no television and even did our laundry in the bathtub for the first month we were there but were very happy.

I know many little girls start dreaming about their wedding day once they turn 4 but wouldn’t this money be better served 5 years later when the kids start coming and money becomes tighter. The $5,000 spent on rings could equal 100 nights of paying a babysitter. The average $24,000 wedding could cover a cleaning lady for 10 years or 240 dinners out at $100 a pop. I am not saying that weddings are not important but they definitely do not guarantee a happy marriage. Too many people place importance on the size of an engagement ring or the type of wedding dress they are able to wear. These might be important for one day of your life but they do not help a bit when the kids are keeping you up at night and you desperately need a night out but can’t afford it.

I know I may sound unromantic but I feel that I have the best marriage one could ever dream of. Tracy does not have an expensive engagement ring and, although we did have a wedding, it did not cost us nearly as much as the average wedding. Despite that, we are still deeply in love with each other almost 11 years later. I feel that a lifetime of happiness is worth way more than going into debt for one magical day.

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About Danny Kofke

Danny is currently a special education teacher and author of "How To Survive (and perhaps thrive) On A Teacher's Salary." His frugality has enabled him to pursue a job he is passionate about and, at the same time, support a family of four on his salary alone. Follow Danny's Blog, find him on Twitter, and order his book.
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  • Steve

    The subject of diamonds has been an interesting one for me and having researched the subject a little, I was amazed how they have been used in revolution and exploitation (blood diamonds, if you will), how there is not really a limited supply of diamonds, but DeBeers artificially creates the shortage to keep the price up, and how their ad campaign is one of the most successful in history, leading every woman to believe that love is tied up in a diamond. To me this all smacks of trickery and exploitation of the consumer and I for one do not wish to play a part in it. However, it takes an enlightened woman, indeed to agree with this point of view. Think of all that the money spent on diamonds could yield if well invested over the lifetime of a marriage, and all of the safety, security, and blessings that could spring from that investment. I am very much with you.

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